September 20, 2016

One More Time...

Half an hour until I go under
Again, I spin the roulette
At his point, there's no sense of wonder
If my eyes stay shut, there's no regrets

Wrap me in linen
And show me me to my tomb
Fashioned in things we've shared
And things I've yet to prove

And the glue is the hope
That every promise I spoke
To my peers or myself
Or any person of note
Will be made good...
While I'm still alive

It's not exactly as depressing as it sounds
I just want to be prepared
I'm in no rush to end this
But look at it from my perspective

September 18, 2016

(Not) Fair

Don't look down
You've got to face what's in front of you now
Don't waste your time making excuses
Stop spinning around in circles
It's time you helped yourself
You might just figure out
What you're made of

We don't always reap what we sow
Life's not fair, like we all hoped
You're not stuck with the path you chose

I'm NOT stuck with the path that I chose

September 5, 2016

The Wrong Way

All's well that ends well, I'm finished with this game
There's got to be a better way than learning from your mistakes
A small step for man now with you out of the way
But now it's up to me to change
And make it so tomorrow starts today

And I believe in futures, but I can't afford to wait
You've been doing it the wrong way
And some day you'll find something that makes you feel okay
But until then you'll make your own way

August 31, 2016

Tenses

I'm not so good with tenses
I'm tensing up thinking about
What I'm supposed to call you now
It takes a lot to shake me
My body breaks to figure out
How to leave the past behind
When it surrounds all of the time
And I don't know what I should call you now

August 25, 2016

It's not as depressing as it sounds...

Tomorrow, I will close my eyes
With hopes of waking up again
But if I don't, I can honestly say
That I have no regrets

I've lived my life the way I want
I'm rich with the company I keep
Memories of you are fond and deep
Even if you don't feel the same way

It's not as depressing as it sounds
I just want to be prepared
I'm in no rush to end it
Just try to look at it from my perspective

You still have a few hours of opportunity
To make things right with me
But if you won't, I'll understand
I wish you well, farewell

It's not as depressing as it sounds
I just want to be prepared
I'm in no rush to end it
Just try to look at it from my perspective

I’ve been hoping for clearer vision and open eyes
I want to stop wasting all my time keeping score
And stop existing for all this wishing and asking for
What I don’t have when I’ve got so much that I just ignore

It's not as depressing as it sounds
I just want to be prepared
I'm in no rush to end it
Just try to look at it from my perspective

It's not as depressing as it sounds
It's not as depressing as it sounds

August 20, 2016

The Ghost

I am the ghost of something
That used to mean something
And should've meant something
To you

August 18, 2016

Duality

Some days
I get crazed
I don't know why it's so irrelevant
I'll take deep breaths
And keep control, go on.

I've tried brave
And you've tried to save
I'm proud to keep it bottled up
I think I past my prime and lost my mind and I'm torn.

No telling what tomorrow holds.
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

Some say
It's all fate
but I say we control our lives
And if my destiny should outbest me then that's fine.
I make believe thrill and apathy co-exist in me fairly equally
The truth is doubts are all I've got to call mine.

No telling what tomorrow holds.
No telling what voice takes control.
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
What if what I say is really wrong?
Is there anybody out there (anybody out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
What if what you say is really wrong?
I'm not in control, I think I'm out of control

Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

August 16, 2016

Pretty Vacant

I’ve been tucked in at the bottom of this lake
And I’ve begun to settle in
It could be worse, I guess
Nothing’s ever great and no one ever wins
But if you try your best you can get used to anything
I’m running out of air but I blame myself for diving in

I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time
And I’ve got no home
I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time

I’ve been here before as two different men
I wrote my own routine
Now I can’t call the shots
And uncomfortable is so comforting
We can call it off, or not
It’s all the same to me
Because you’re running out of gas
And I’m still at home trying to find my keys

I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time
And I’ve got no home
I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time

I’d die to prove I was once alive
It’d be the most exciting thing I’d done in years
But I don’t have the balls
So let’s divide what we both know is mine
Cause it’s just stuff
You seem strangely ok with it
But you’d still have to give a shit to try
And you’d still have to give a shit to try

I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time
And I’ve got no home
I can’t believe this is my life
I’m pretty vacant all the time
I can’t believe this is my life
(I can't believe this is my life)
I’m pretty vacant all the time
And I’ve got no home
I can’t believe this is my life
(I can't believe this is my life)
I’m pretty vacant all the time

August 13, 2016

Footsteps

Don't even think about reaching me. I won't be home.
Don't even think about stopping by. Don't think of me at all.

I did what I had to do. If there was a reason, it was you.

Don't even think about getting inside. Voices in my head.
I got scratches all over my arms. One for each day since I fell apart.

I did what I had to do. If there was a reason, it was you.

Footsteps in the hall... It was you, you.
Oh, pictures on my chest... It was you. It was you...

I did what I had to do. Oh, and if there was a reason... Oh, there wasn't no reason. no.
And if there's something you'd like to do. Oh, just let me continue to blame you.

A footsteps in the hall... It was you, you.
Oh, pictures on my chest... It was you, you. Oh

August 3, 2016

60 Day Silent Treatment

Your silence speaks volumes.

You're not who I hoped you'd be. I gave you all, you gave me nothing.
Like a worn out sweater, you shoved me in the closet, then forgot about me. 

So long, it's been forever. My heart belongs to you.
Never think that I'm not strong enough to hold this all together.

Enjoy your silence