March 15, 2020

It's All Fading To Black

So make the most of this goodbye
Do you still dream about me late at night?
Or are you out there livin' better times?
You know it's killin' me to let go
I see your face but it's someone I don't know

July 15, 2019

Place To Start

I don't have a leg to stand on
Spinning like a whirlwind, nothing to land on
Came so far, never thought it'd be done now
Stuck in a holding pattern waiting to come down

Did somebody else define me?
Can I put the past behind me?
Do I even have a decision
Feeling like I'm living in a story already written
Am I part of a vision made by somebody else?
Pointing fingers at villains but I'm the villain myself
Or am I out of conviction with no wind in the sail?
Too focused on the end and simply ready to fail

'Cause I'm tired of the fear that I can't control this
I'm tired of feeling like every next step's hopeless
I'm tired of being scared what I build might break apart
I don't want to know the end, all I want is a place to start
I don't want to know the end, all I want is a place to start

March 23, 2019

Not Now

Come here, please hold my hand, Lord, now
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this
God has a master plan
And I guess
I am in his demand
Please save me this time I cannot run
And I'll see you when this is done
And now I have come to realize
That you are the one who's left behind

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting

I see, a light it feels good
And I'll come back soon just like you would
It's useless, my name has made the list
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting

Please stay until I'm gone
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here
Waiting and take
My one last breath, and don't forget
That I will be right here
Waiting

March 17, 2019

Wake Up Hoping

I sleep alone at night
Afraid I'll dream of you
Then I often wonder
If you feel the same way too

Time moves slowly
Lonely nights seem to never end
Wake up hoping
That I'll never see you again

I'm moving so slow
Lonely nights turn to bitter days
Wake up hoping
That you'll never feel the way that I do

January 23, 2019

Time to Break Up

If you wanna call it a heartache,
Then I shouldn't regret those things. I miss her
If you want the pain to go away,
Better suck up your pride and admit you lost her
Let her go
Move on, let her go
Move on, let her go

December 8, 2018

This Bitter Pill

Walking away.
It's not the same as running.
Is it to you now that you've run in this ground.
And you say take this.
This medicine is just what you deserve.
Swallow, choke, and die.

And this bitter pill is leaving you
with such an angry mouth.
One that's void of all discretion
such an awful tearing sound.
With it's measure only equal by the power of my stare
glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair
is never wearing out.

It's wearing off
and it's leaving you with such a heavy heart
and a head to match.
The bottle is waiting
the cap is twisted begging to be used
and so are you.

November 17, 2018

I Miss You


Where are you?
And I'm so sorry.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight.
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time.

And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides.

Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason.
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight.

August 15, 2018

Motionless



I'm bleeding misery. Oh, eternal discontent.
How consistent - the only thing stable in my life is how I try...

To still this beating mind, so that I can finally rest.
The essence of my character is that I'm unable to be without worrying.

The words of dead humans seem so much more sincere
than the half-signed contracts that tend to occupy the open air.

Still this beating mind, so that I can finally rest.
The essence of my character is that I'm unable to be without worrying.

August 8, 2018

Drugs Or Me



Her: "Stay with me. You're the one I need. You make the hardest things seem easy. Keep my heart somewhere drugs don't go, where the sunshine slows, always keep me close"

Me: "If only you could see the stranger next to me. You promise you promise that you're done but I can't tell you from the drugs."

Her: "Just let go. We'll dig a great big hole. Down an endless hole. We'll both go. You're so blind!
You can't save me this time. Hope comes from inside and I feel so low tonight."

Me: "If only you could see the stranger next to me. You promise you promise that you're done. But I can't tell you from the drugs. I wish that you could see this face in front of me. You're sorry you swear it you're done but I can't tell you from the drugs."

Her: "(take me) I need your help (so far away) To pull me up take the wheel (take me) Out from me
(so far) Out from me."

Her: "Take me"
Me: "If only you could see..."
Her: "I need your help"
Her: "So far away"
Me: "The stranger next to me..."
Her: "To pull me up take the pain"
Her: "Take me"
Me: "You promise you promise that you're done... "
Her: "Out from me"
Her: "So far"
Me: "But I can't tell you from the drugs"
Her: "Out from me"

Her: "Take me"
Me: "I wish that you could see... "
Her: "I need your help"
Her: "So far away"
Me: "This face in front of me"
Her: "To pull me up take the wheel"
Her: "Take me"
Me: "You're sorry you swear it you're done"
Her: "Out from me"
Her: "So far away"
Me: "But I can't tell you from the drugs"
Her: "Out from me"

Me: "Keep my heart somewhere drugs don't go. Where the sunshine slows. Always keep me close."

I love you Bean.

August 1, 2018

Sick, Sick, Sick

I curse to hell the magistrate who granted this unholy fate
But I know, I know I asked for this myself
I’m bound by law to hell and it’s sick, sick, sick
Humans have their needs, living in a fairytale, it’s tearing at the seams
The dank reject, the devil in a dress, exactly what you see

Sick, Sick, Sick, it’s sick, sick, sick

You made a mess of things
My what a mess you’ve made
I hate the way you make me feel
I hate the way you make me
In your world it’s cold outside
So button up and open wide
I hate the way you make me feel sick, sick, sick

If memory serves me correct I gave you all, you gave me less
Your sexcapades deliver checks but can’t afford you self-respect
And it’s sick, sick, sick
Humans on their knees, living in a fairytale, it’s tearing at the seams
The dank reject, the devil in a dress, exactly what you see

Sick, Sick, Sick, it’s sick, sick, sick

Maybe love is looking for someone to fill up holes
We grow up building lies with holes in all our walls
The watch can fall but here you were with spare bricks to save the day
And we pray it’s not too late
Spare bricks can be dead weight

Sick, Sick, Sick, it’s sick, sick, sick